08/13/07:
F*CK The Blue Angels:
The Blue Angels: It's August in Seattle; It's Seafair; The Hydro-planes race on Lake Washington; Sure, and I love a celebration as much as anyone else. But, every year it's the same thing: The Blue Angels fly over Seattle. I only want to ask how much it costs the tax-payers to bring them to Seattle every year. Do the citizens of Seattle have to pay for this annual treat? Is this just another military expenditure for which we pay taxes? YES!
How many doggie/kitty Ludes need to be dispensed? Every year, veterinarians prescribe drugs for our pets, to help them deal with The Blue Angels. Any cognizant being would react as if it were a military siege. That's what it seems like. But we must keep our pets calm! What's next? Maybe I can find a vet who will give me some Paxil, to alleviate my fears. Oh, to be drugged, to be calmed from the impending dume(sic). I only kid! Of course, it's not that bad. Pray that it won't be that bad. It's not like it's "Welcome to 1984...."! Are you ready for the 3rd World War? I just don't like the gist of it. The Blue Angels are a military force! Let me just say, I am not a big fan, and they scare the shit out of me. And let us not forget about what it does to our pets!
Please Phone/Email your city council members today!
08/03/07:
Harry Potter Does Dallas!
News From The Street - The Next 3 Harry Potter Books - NexGen:
#8: Harry Potter Goes To Jesus Camp (In which Harry finds Jesus, and renounces his Warlock/Wizardry); And as he waits for the Apocalypse, a dark secret evades him;
#9: Harry Potter & The Search For Barack Obama (Wherein Harry discovers that Barack is not a tearorizt; And Hilary Clinton is actually a nice person; SPOILER ALERT: He Converts Escatologically (HCE ref. to Finnegan's Wake & Bake - A great B & B in Daublin) To The Donkeys)
#10: Harry Potter & The Temple Of The Rock (Harry is confronted with Judaism, Islam, and Christianity; Hilarity ensues as Harry tries to figure out which is the One True Religion; This book is purported to be the darkest of all, and may deal with sue (but that's just an) aside!)
Please Stay Tuned!
TEASER ALERT: The 11th volume - Harry & The Puberty Machine Finds Harry making a startling discovery: that Hermione is NOT a dude; This volume will prolly be released in late 2012
Stay Tuned For The Latest News On The Harry Potter Front!
07/21/07:
My latest art installation is a reflection upon the Bush Era. A brief synopsis:
Picture an aquarium, filled with goldfish (13 in all); Now, see them all floating on the surface. Are they faking it? Are they swimming? What's the matter with them fishies? The bubbles, from below, make it look like they're dancing; The water is disturbed. It's all very disturbing, anyway. 13 is a very convenient number, since we just had a Friday with the same number. Picture, again, the 13 goldfish: Each has its own color, the 13 colors of the rainbow (including all CMYK, RGB variations: 13.1 Million Colors);
Now, if you'll just bear with me, take the number 13 and divide it by any prime number. You will find that I'm telling the truth (or am I just talking bullshite again?); Examples: 13/3 = 4.3333333; 13/5 = 2.6; 13/7 = 1.8571428; 13/11 = 1.181818; 13/17 = .7647058; 13/19 = .6842105; 13/23 = .5652173; 13/29 = .4482758; 13/31 = .4193548; Adding all these numbers reveals the number: 12.854056, which rounds up to 13 (with a variance of a .1856735 factor of error). Do you still think I'm talking bull-shite?
Yah. I prolly am. But what ya gonna do? All is fair in love and war; And this ain't love, so it must be war!
06/29/07:
Silliness Warning! Please Excuse The Silliness:
You should prolly, totally(!) -
BUY MY BUCKETS OF RODENTS & WORMS. They come in a variety of packages: Glowing Rodents; Or, Dismal Worms (sm, med, lg, XL). You needn't worry about globes warming. These buggers grouse and permeate the soil! Buy them now, half-price, while supplies last! Only $99.95! for a mixed package. Each package contains a mix of (at least) 5 rodents, and 35 worms. Limit: 15 per customer. Allow 13 weeks for delivery. CALL NOW!: (911)-911-4673(sic.); Please speak clearly: leave your credit-card number, exp. date, full name, and PIN #, at the beep.
If you're not interested in Rodents, or Worms, you might want to purchase -
MY 30-VOLUME SET OF BOOKS ON PI: (One Trillion Decimal Places per volume! 30 Trillion total!)
A First Glimpse Of My Books On PI: The First 29,300 Decimal Places! (Soon To Be A Classic Best Seller In Its Own Right!) KIDS: Be the first on your block to own The First 29,300 Digits of PI! Get The Teaser File NOW! Yeah, I know it's imbecillic, but what ya gonna do?
Just $19.95/volume ($550 for the whole set) - Limit: 5 Orders per customer! Use the same number as above, but, please don't slur this time!
NEW!:
I have combined Valentine's Day and Easter! My newest item is available at aboriginal prices! Why have two holidays, when we can combine them together? The Joy of Valentine's day (chocolate, hearts, diamonds, and lovey-dovey cards), and the essence of Easter (chocolate, bunnys, eggs, and the ascension of our Lord Baby Jesus) in a single Holyday! Think of the profits (or, prophets, for the ecumenically minded): Chocolate diamond studded bunnys {the diamond studded bunnys will have an additional cost of $99.95 per unit}, and eggs covered in hearts; And Our Lord, the Baby Jesus, rising, in multitudinous epiphanies, in lovingly crafted, and lovely cards! Just think of the Profits! It's as if the Lord Baby Jesus arose from the dead as a diamond studded bunny!
{If only we could find a way to include Presidents Day, it might be a most profitable holiday! (maybe Lincoln and Washington crossing the Jordan, to be baptised by some chocolate bunnys?) I don't know!? At any rate, this proposed holiday would be celebrated (profitized) from Jan. 2nd to July 3rd!}
Only $14.95 per unit (minimum order: 10,000 units;)
These prices will not last long! Call NOW! (see number above;)
My Photography Site: Digital Alchemy Institute
My Portal Site: Daemien.net
Daemien's Myspace Site - www.myspace.com/ldaam:
Feedback, comments, questions, and/or other volume discounts - Email me at: daemien@speakeasy.net
Last Updated: 10/20/07